Chapter XVI – They’re pirates; they don’t know the meaning of the word ‘plot device’. No wait, that’s two words

Anakin’s stomach almost turned at the sudden shock when the space saucer came out of hyperspace. Ahead, the swirling mass of the star lane made way for an ordinary starry sky, with a deep orange planet visible at the horizon and coming quickly more into view. Hyperspace travel was more than common in this reality, or rather in this universe, which seemed to be ages away from their own planet Earth. In fact, after asking around, nobody even knew about a planet called Earth, not even in stories or legends. 

“We’re here,” Hondo said, seated in a comfortable chair on the far side of the space ship’s bridge. The flying saucer Hondo owned was a cliche where space ships were concerned, but it was fast and hard to hit, and that made it a popular choice for the space pirate.
The planet in front of them was called Kareena, a remote and primitive world in what was called the Outer Rim, at least according to Hondo. It was a place where Hondo had spent several years before becoming a successful (depending on who you ask) pirate leader, and where he had apparently met Venger in his younger years.
It had been a most surprising turn of events, and while both Doctor Doom and Loki were skeptical about the pirate’s intentions, Anakin trusted the pirate on this for some reason, as if sensing the pirate’s intentions weren’t all bad, in this instance. Of course he didn’t trust him completely yet either; Anakin was no fool. But he didn’t think it was a trap either; after all, why bring them all the way to this place then, when they were already smack down in the middle of Hondo’s base of operations, surrounded by a hopeless multitude of enemies. 

“Planet Kareena,” Anakin said.

“This sight sure does bring back memories,” Hondo replied, rising up from his chair, “And most of them aren’t even all that bad. Some are even legal.”

“This is where Venger is from?” Loki asked, “Where you met him?”

“Yes, but he was not Venger at the time,” Hondo said, “At the time he was human, pretty much like yourselves; we were good friends for several years; but something happened, it changed him.”

Hondo stopped talking after that. It seemed like he didn’t want to share any more, at least not for now; it was also a complete opposite from the cheerful and arrogant pirate they had met a few hours ago, so no one pursued the issue.
Meanwhile, on the viewing screen the dark orange planet came more and more into view, and finally the flying saucer began to descend, entering the planet’s atmosphere and finally touching down with a controlled landing, just outside a small city. 

“Ah, I remember that city,” Hondo said, “A thriving trade hub once, but now all but forgotten, even its inhabitants don’t remember its name.”

“That’s a bit odd,” Loki commented, “You do have computers and books and stuff, right? Something to write down the history and geographic data with?”

“Hush, and let me be poetic,” Hondo said, making a wavy gesture with one hand, as if to shoo Loki away, “Of course the name’s probably still remembered somewhere. But that’s not the point.”

“What is the point?” Loki asked.

“I remember this town well,” Hondo went on, ignoring Loki’s question, “We’ve spent quite a few youthful years there. We were scoundrels, that’s for sure, but no real criminals yet. For me that came later. For him it came too soon.”

“What happened?” Anakin asked.

Hondo didn’t answer, and fell silent again.

They entered the town with Hondo in the lead. There were some civilians around, but the town was a lot more empty than it should have been, judging from its size; nobody was really paying them any attention, even though they were a rather remarkable group, and had space pirates accompanying them; it was as if all life and motivation had been drained from the city.
They stopped in front of an abandoned club house of some sort. Hondo kept staring at it for a moment in silence, as if reminiscing. Then he left out a soft sigh. “So many memories,” he said softly.

“From your time with him?” Anakin asked.

“We used to play Dungeons and Dragons in this club house,” Hondo replied, “Me, Cad, a few others; Eddie was our DM.” 

“Eddie?” Loki asked.

“Venger,” Hondo replied, “Before he became Venger, Eddie was Eddie. A classy guy, a guitar player, a nerd.”

“Like you,” Anakin guessed.

“My LEGO collection is nothing to brag about, but you should see my Funko Pop room,” Hondo replied with a smirk.

“What happened?” Doctor Doom asked.

“LEGO is expensive, so I don’t buy it all too often,” Hondo replied, “But the Funko’s, those really got out of hand.”

“I was referring to the birth of Venger,” Doctor Doom replied, clear annoyance in his voice.

“Ah,” Hondo said, “That happened one day after a tough Dungeons and Dragons session. We went to an amusement park called Rex World…”

“Excuse me, Rex World?” Loki repeated.

“An amusement park named after the hero who saved the galaxy,” Hondo replied, “A few years ago there was the threat of a civil war in the galaxy, and an army of cloned soldiers was created to combat the other side; but one of those clones, a Captain Rex, single handedly discovered a deeper plot, a villain in the Galactic Senate, playing both sides and orchestrating the whole thing; this senator was arrested, and Rex declared a hero for stopping a civil war that could have gone on for years and might have resulted in the death of democracy.”

“That’s quite a tale,” Loki said, “So… Rex World.”

“The biggest intergalactic amusement park asteroid in existence,” Hondo said, “Eddie and I went there, but something went wrong; some sort of dark matter intergalactic event or something; as we were riding the roller coaster, it entered a tunnel and transported us to another world, someplace different.”

“A galactic event,” Doctor Doom surmised, even though that explanation was saying nothing at all.

“It was a wondrous world, with magic, adventure and even monsters,” Hondo went on, “I had all but forgotten about it; they were pleasant memories, but the ending… wasn’t so pleasant.” 

“What happened?” Anakin asked.

“We ran into a complicated dilemma, powerful enemies,” Hondo said, “Eddie made a choice, choosing power in exchange for, well, everything. He became something powerful, but something less than human.”

“And what about you?” Anakin asked.

“I got away,” Hondo said, “Back to this planet, and never saw or heard from Eddie again. But based on what you told me, he’s had quite the adventure himself. And the outcome isn’t all that good.”

“So you want to help your old friend, is that it?” Doctor Doom asked.

Hondo shrugged: “Hey, I’m anything if not sentimental.”

They entered the club house and went upstairs, with Hondo in the lead. Upstairs there were several small chambers which had been used as living quarters somewhere in the past, but now they stood abandoned, a silent reminder of those days past.
“We used to live here,” Hondo said, answering the question that was on Anakin’s lips, “Illegally, of course, without paying for it; but it was our home. And every good home has one or two hiding places. This used to be Eddie’s room.”

“What do you hope to find here?” Anakin asked.

“Something personal,” Hondo replied, searching the floorboards, “Something to remind him of his past, of who he was. To wash away the evil that has taken over him and find the man within.”

“If such a man still exists,” Doctor Doom said grimly, “Evil consumes; and he has been trapped in the Shadow Realm for ages.”

“But how can that be?” Anakin asked, “Hondo used to know him when he was younger; and I don’t think Hondo really is centuries old.”

“Thank you,” Hondo said.

“The multiverse is more complex than just parallel worlds,” Doctor Doom explained, “Some realities are vastly different, with no similarities to our realm whatsoever; and some are largely the same, but older, or younger. This is such a young reality, so in effect, it would be like us traveling to another place, another reality, and another time. That’s why for us and for Hondo only years have passed, but for Venger it has been centuries.”

“Works wonders if you have some money in the bank, collecting interest,” Hondo commented from his crouching position. He then stopped what he was doing, as if he’d found something and tapped a single plank on the floor: “AHA!” he exclaimed.

“You found something?” Loki asked.

Hondo tapped the floorboard again, which sprang loose. He then shoved it aside, retrieving a small satchel, opening it and spreading out the contents on the floor. They were several sets of dice, in various sizes, which Anakin recognised as the dice they used to play Dungeons and Dragons with. Hondo examined the small pile for a moment, then smiled and picked up a single dice, a twenty sided dice (D20) with a number on every side and a green and purple color scheme. “Found it,” he said proudly.

“A dice?” Loki asked, “That’s it? That’s what will stop Venger?”

“This dice is special,” Hondo Ohnaka explained, “It was a gift from me to him, during our first Dungeons and Dragons session where Eddie was the Dungeon Master. I wanted to give him something to commemorate his first session as Dungeon Master, as well as our friendship.”

There was a brief moment of silence. “What?!” Hondo asked, raising his hands.

Another brief moment of silence. Then Anakin spoke: “You rigged it, didn’t you?”

“Eh, it might not be the luckiest of dice,” Hondo shrugged, “But can you blame a man for trying? He found out though and never used that dice again after that session. It was a very important life lesson. Which is also why it’s very important.”

“Is there anything else?” Loki asked, folding his arms across his chest in disbelief, “A memento from his mother? A childhood drawing?”

“There isn’t; and trust me, this will work,” Hondo reassured, “Despite its troublesome nature, this dice had a special meaning to Eddie. I’m sure he will remember it when you give it to him.”

“Very well then,” Anakin said, “Give us the dice then; it’s the best shot we have.”

“Ah yes, a funny way of wording that,” Hondo grinned, closing his fist around the dice, “There still is the matter of my payment.”

“What do you mean, payment?” Loki asked, “Weren’t you helping an old friend?”

“The two aren’t mutually exclusive,” Hondo replied, taking a step back while a few of his pirate associates walked into the room, “I am still a businessman, after all; and my reputation will suffer if I go around handing out freebies; I told you, I am anything if not sentimental. Emphasis on not.”

“I am sure this is not surprising anyone?” Doctor Doom asked rhetorically, crossing his arms as well. 

“Not really,” Anakin said, “But I did have some hope for all this. I am disappointed, Hondo Ohanka.” 

“Ah well, join the line,” Hondo said, “Starts with mom, ends with, well, you, I guess.”

“Hand over the dice, Ohnaka,” Doctor Doom warned, “Do not make this more difficult; crossing Doom will not benefit you.”

“That’s why these guys are doing the crossing,” Hondo replied, pointing with both hands at the two pirates, “And they’re among my best, so you might want to reconsider putting up a fight.”

Doctor Doom did in fact not reconsider. He engaged the two pirates, who fired their laser pistols. The beams deflected off Doom’s armor however; the fight that followed lasted less than two minutes, then one of the pirates lay knocked out on the floor, the other had been flung out of the window. “Your brave words mean nothing to Doom,” he said, “I hope you are wise enough not to back them up.”

“Now, now, surely we can talk business?” Hondo said, looking startled and still backing off slowly, “For the sake of our cooperation so far? How about: No payment needed, and we end our cooperation here?”

“Sound fair, but with one additional request,” Doctor Doom suggested.

“Which is?” Honda asked nervously, and carefully.

“You take us back to that desert planet,” Doom said, “Consider it a reward for our company, and an excuse for this minor inconvenience just now.”

“Fine,” Honda sighed, “We will take you back with us to Tatooine. But we won’t be landing; I’m sick and tired of that planet anyway, we’ll be leaving Mos Doba for better grounds.”

“You will find me not caring,” Doctor Doom replied.

They left the club house and the planet Kareena behind, returning to the fortified city of Mos Doba on Tatooine. There Hondo gathered his men and announced that they were leaving, leaving Mos Doba to its citizens, or to whatever party might have an interest in it. Just before the flying sauces which was Hondo’s flagship was about to leave, Hondo exited again to say goodbye to the mysterious group he had so recently met.

“So this is goodbye then?” Anakin asked, “To us, but to this planet as well?”

“Yes,” Hondo confirmed, “Reliving old memories has made me rethink the current situation as well. We’ll be relocating, setting up a new base somewhere that is more lucrative, in a different part of the outer rim. I’m sure Eddie would have wanted that as well.”

“Any idea where you’re going then?”

“Florrum sounds good,” Hondo said, “I’ve always wanted to visit Florrum. And it’s close to some important shipping lanes. I’m sure business will be booming.”

“Pirate business, of course?” Loki guessed.

“Best there is,” Hondo replied, “I assume you lot will soon be off as well? Back to whatever place you’re from?”

“Yes,” Doctor Doom said, “I’ve already signaled our home base to activate the Stargate. It should open any moment now.”

“A convenient travel tool, I’m sure I could do wonderful things with it,” Hondo pondered, “But it has to be opened from here specifically?”

“No,” Doom replied.

“No?” Hondo repeated, “Then why did you ask me to bring you back to Tatooine?”

“To teach you a lesson,” Doctor Doom replied, “Doom congratulates you on your newfound wisdom.”

Before Hondo had a chance to respond the Stargate opened, illuminating the area with a spectacular display. For the first time in, well, a long while, Hondo Ohnaka was actually baffled and speechless.

“Goodbye, Hondo Ohnaka,” Anakin said, turning around one last time before he entered the Stargate, “Stay out of trouble, and don’t do anything too crazy.”

“Stay out of trouble is my middle name,” Hondo shouted back, “You be careful as well, young man. Keep a level head in tough times and you’ll do just fine.”

“Oh don’t worry about that,” Anakin said, “I’m as calm as they come.”

“And say hello to Eddie for me,” Hondo added, “Tell him… I miss him; and I hope to see him again someday.”

Loki smiled: “You’re an emotional sap after all, Ohnaka.”

“Eddie would make an excellent business partner,” Hondo shrugged; but he was convincing no one.

The group left to the Stargate which closed behind them, returning them back to Earth, which was slowly hurtling towards ruin; the other groups hadn’t returned yet though, and their assistance would be sorely needed to put things right…